my journey

Life is not a path of coincidence, happenstance, and luck, but rather an unexplainable, meticulously charted course for one to touch the lives of others and make a difference in the world.        Barbara Dillinham 

 

I am creating announcements and that is the saying I am putting on them. I cannot believe the time has finally come for me to graduate! It seems almost another lifetime that I started this masters program and now the day is finally here. We had our last internship meeting yesterday and the professor asked us just as we were about to end, "Think back to the first day of class, how have you changed since then?" I feel as if I have gone through some sort of metamorphosis, I have come out of the cocoon of life a butterfly ready to spread it's beautiful wings in flight. I went in scared, unsure, and anxious and I have awoken confident, competent, and peaceful, yet excited to start the next phase of my journey of life and self discovery.

 

 
 

 

 
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Well, I was trying to update the color scheme on my blog, but MSN won't let me.... I guess I will write instead.

 

I sit and stare at the screen, willing the words to flow...something that has not happened in quite some time. I am sure all the people who used to visit no longer come by. If my blog were a house, it would be boarded up and nature would by now start reclaiming what was once hers. I can't say that I will be coming back here any more frequently,  but who knows... the winding roads of life lead to places known not to the souls wandering them...

 

Today thou, is different... I can no longer sit silently staring at the screen, words are aching to come out, they fight amongst themselves to drop like blood flowing from an open wound, not yet clotted. Winter. A time of death. Nature cleansing herself of the old before a rebirth in the spring. But I am not thinking about the trees missing their leaves or the flowers patiently waiting for spring's arrival, I am contemplating someone else. Of course, when anyone dies, I am violently returned to my mother's death. I am sure that will always be, she who was so close to me. This time...this time I mourn the loss of another mother. one more child must go through the pain and suffering that I once did. I weep for her. I weep for the relationship that could have been. I weep for all the missed embraces, for the celebrations not quite right, someone missing. I weep for the daughter holding her diploma high, proud of her accomplishments, yet unable to share it with the one person she wanted to most. I weep for the beautiful woman who will give birth to a bundle of joy, bittersweet in her memories. I weep for the little girl not quite a teenager who must now grow up without a mother to guide her into womanhood.

 

I weep for the man who told me last night of the woman who means more to him than life itself... the love of his life, he called her, and the pain in his voice, so sharp... so deep.

 

How does any of this make sense?

 

 

 

 

WOW, has it really been that long? It seems just yesterday I was on here chatting with all of you... ah well... things are pretty good here. My body decided it was time that I took a break from the rat race and set me on my hiney! In other words, I went to the Breast Cancer 3 day last weekend and made it through the 1st day of the walk, the first 20 miles and that was it. My hips gave out and would NOT work for the rest of the event and even today as I sit in this chair, they are screaming at me! So I will make this short...

 

Things besides are good. I have been teaching 7th grade Science and I love it! The kids are great and very challenging! Lots of work though and it never seems I have enough time! Finishing up my last class, it's all about Drug and Alcohol Abuse, very interesting, also A LOT of work! Only 4 more weeks though!!!!! Have finally gotten all moved into my fiance's house. It has been interesting adjusting and I am sure it will take some time, but things seem to be falling into place, no further plans for the wedding but I think we are both just going to fast right now...

 

And I think that is about all the time my hips will allow... I hope things are good with all of you and I will try to make the rounds later on today! Tah Tah for now!

GRRRRR !@$#$% I just spent a considerable amount of time writing about what's new in life and my favorite msn decides to have some error and shuts down right in the middle of it!!!!!! I don't have time to write it all back....

 

Too bad there are no real trees in Arizona, I could use some fall foliage! Fall is my favorite season. I love the crispness in the air, the fresh, clean smell of winter coming on, and all the wonderful get togethers that happen around this time of year....At least things are pretty green right now with all the rain we've had.

 

I love my job. Kids are great, challenging but that is SO much better than sitting at a desk doing the same monotonous task every flippin day! I am going to have a great time this year =-)

 

Moving next weekend.... so excited we can hardly stand it =-) it will be a long process throughout the month of October though.  

 

And now I must get my booty in the shower and off to work I go! =-)

Hey guys! Remember me? LOL... I know it's been AWHILE! Strange... I would have thought that not having a job, I would have plenty of time to blog...LOL obviously that has not been the case!

 

Things are going really well! But very busy! Of course everything has to happen all at once, right?! I started a new online class that is just kicking my behind! SO MUCH WORK!!! Luckily and probably the reason for all the work, it is only a month long. I have two and a half weeks left of it, CAN'T WAIT!!! It is very interesting but very hard to focus, LOL... I wonder why =-)

 

I am having a garage sale this weekend with the other ladies in my Breast Cancer walk group, we still need to raise 3000 dollars to meet our goal and for all of us to be able to walk in November... so if anyone is interested in donating, I will repost the link! I REALLY do not like garage sales and avoid them at all costs, but this is for a wonderful cause and being that I am moving in about a month... I have lots to get rid of! I love getting rid of stuff, LOL... I know I am strange =-) I have gotten to a point in my life where I can't stand clutter... I only buy things when I have to and I get rid of stuff as soon as I don't use it anymore. ALTHOUGH, I have quite a few things that were my mother's and I just can't bring myself to get rid of them yet... some I probably will never get rid of. Anyway, so that has taken up a bunch of time to organize and sort, etc.

 

I also got a job! WOOO HOOO! I am going to be teaching science to 7th graders... sounds scary doesn't it?! LOL I can't wait! I have met a few of the kids and they seem to be really good kids! I should be hearing back from them in the next day or two, they were completing a background check, etc. I have been doing a little reading to prepare, but probably not as much as I should be =-)

 

We added another member to our little family a couple of weekends ago, she is an adorable little kitty cat named Sylvia. She is very affectionate and wants to be around people ALL the time! She follows me around everywhere I go. When we go to stay at my fiance's house, she rides in the back window, it is pretty cute! The dog is totally loving it! She is so excited to have a cat to play with... C and the dog have their own way of playing with each other, the dog, Roxy, will grab his thumbs and do that doggy wiggle with it, you know the one, they do it with every toy you play tug of war! Anyway, she does this with his thumbs and then he will hide his hands under himself and she will try to dig and push them out again. The dog has been trying to do this with the cat, she will gently grab the cat's paw in her mouth and try to do her thing, but the cat wants none of it, she looks at the dog like she is CRAZY! And everywhere the cat goes, Roxy follows, nudging her along the way...poor cat! Hilarious to watch though =-)

 

As for the wedding plans... we haven't discussed them much. I think C is still a little overwhelmed by the whole idea and keeps telling me, one thing at a time. He wants me to move back in first and see how that goes and then start talking about the particulars. I am thinking around March? He is thinking sometime in the Summer.... we will see. We already know that it won't be a big wedding... I already had one of those and it was a total pain. This time I want something simple and special. We are thinking of either taking the kids and going to an Island, maybe Hawaii, maybe bahamas? Somewhere tropical and with a beautiful beach to get married on, or just going by ourselves and leaving the kids with relatives. I would prefer to take them with us so they can share the happy day with us, of course a honeymoon alone would be good too =-) Everything will get ironed out as we go along...

 

I hope everyone is having a great week! I will try to come by and say hello! Thank you for all the well wishes!!! =-)